I don’t know why I bother trying to plan out this season in advance. I got on Facebook and read the news about Breonna Taylor and how Brett Hankison, John Mattingly, and Myles Cosgrove will not face any indictment for her murder. And though we saw the signs and we’re learning our history, once again we were reminded of our place in this world in the eyes of men. And I couldn’t help but think, here we go again.

There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. There is no proper way to go through this. There isn’t even one way to walk with you through this. So the music is just going to play. I won’t speak, but you can. Take this time to feel the depths of your feelings in a safe space. Know that I’m furiously grieving with you.

Today’s episode is dedicated to you Breonna Taylor.

If you've listened to the last season of this podcast, you'll know that my husband lost his job here in Hong Kong and with two kids and two sets of student loan debt, we have to be a two income household. Paying US$2400 for our 600 sq ft flat doesn't help either. But we were hopeful, optimistic. We believe that after 10 years of working for the same company, it was time for David to find something new, something better, that this was a chance to flex these skills elsewhere. That was back in March. And here we are in September. And 6 months of rejections has really taken its toll on us, on him. So with the money we have left and our daughters by our side, we prepare to leave.

Welcome to Season 3 of the Loose Change podcast. My name is Deanna and today is my birthday!

As this podcast evolves and starts to take form, I want to make sure that you feel like it's really made for you. During the break, I took a step back to listen to what you are talking about in your day to day lives, the transitions you are going through, the hard work you are doing, the triumphs you've celebrated. And I find that we are a lot alike and so very different. And that, above all else makes me encouraged for us to go through change together.

Season 3 of the Loose Change Podcast is coming soon. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss it. You can find me on Stitcher, iHeart Radio, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Google Podcasts, RadioPublic, Overbreaker, and of course on my brand new website, loosechangepodcast.com. I'll see you there.

On this episode of Loose Change, I only felt the need to reflect on what I learned about podcasting from producing these last two seasons. I wanted to talk to you about what I learned about interviewing, editing, and endurance, just being able to follow through and complete the season. But this season didn’t go the way that I planned it, but probably because these last six months did not go the way that we planned it.

I had to take a week off of the podcast to collect my thoughts and quite frankly grieve. A lot. I've had a few breakdowns, a few uplifting moments, but overall this year has been unbelievably overwhelming. But I'm sure I don't have to tell you that. I had one moment in particular where my grieving was kind of put on display, in public (without my consent) and it completely unravelled me.

Grief is the experience we go through when something or someone is taken away from us. It is a sense of loss, and it is a loss that is personal and individual. My original plan for this episode was very different. The title was different. The subject matter was about the same, I knew that I wanted to talk about grief and how to push through it. And like the rest of this season, I wanted to interview a friend about how they kept going even through the lowest moments of their lives. But then, their lows kept getting lower.