I don’t know why I bother trying to plan out this season in advance. I got on Facebook and read the news about Breonna Taylor and how Brett Hankison, John Mattingly, and Myles Cosgrove will not face any indictment for her murder. And though we saw the signs and we’re learning our history, once again we were reminded of our place in this world in the eyes of men. And I couldn’t help but think, here we go again.

There is no right way or wrong way to grieve. There is no proper way to go through this. There isn’t even one way to walk with you through this. So the music is just going to play. I won’t speak, but you can. Take this time to feel the depths of your feelings in a safe space. Know that I’m furiously grieving with you.

Today’s episode is dedicated to you Breonna Taylor.

On last week’s episode, I shared some thoughts on grief and how you and I can support our loved ones while they are grieving some sort of loss. And that reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend of mine, let’s call her Yvette.* Yvette and her husband are a black couple living in Asia. Her husband is a pilot, well actually a captain, and often has to travel away from her and their two boys for weeks at a time.

Why do I fear making a bad impression? Why would I rather skip doing something beneficial because of that fear? How much does my race define what I will and will not do? How much of that can I change?